I'm not sure what this post should be called...

Confession? Checking in? Reality check? Oh crap, I fell off the wagon and got drug behind it for three weeks?

Blogger says my last post was 10/02/13. It's been over a month since I've posted, and to be honest, I have not done well with stress management or maintaining a healthy life style in general. As Clara would say, I'm at the bottom of mud mountain. Not just hanging out there, but curled up in the fetal position, wondering what the heck happened. Actually, not really wondering. That's not fair. I know what happened.

Life happened.

And I didn't plan for it.

And then I let everything become an excuse.

"Adi woke up early and I didn't get my medicine taken in time, so I need to pick up breakfast on the way to work. Oh, hello Dunkin Donuts."

"Lunch is provided at work today. Pizza and salad and cookies will be okay for one day."

"Lunch wasn't enough, I need a snack. What can I find? Oh, hello <insert unhealthy choice here>"

"We moved, and I didn't plan for food for this week. Take out? Okay."

"Ice cream? yes please!"

"A few pieces of Halloween candy? Can't hurt"

I started a legs and abs challenge and around the time we moved, I took a few days off. "I'm working out; I'm moving boxes. That must count, right?" And then I never finished.

Etc. Etc. Etc.

So I have slipped back into old habits. And back into feeling miserable. And while I haven't stepped on to the scale yet, my pants are feeling a little tighter, I'm bloated, I have acne, and I am exhausted. And not all of that exhaustion is because I'm busy. It's certainly not because I'm working out too much - I've only been running once in the past three weeks (!).

So here's where it ends. No more excuses. No more "I'll start tomorrow."  I'm starting today. Right now. I'm taking back control and clawing my way back up the mountain.  I've got a new cookbook with a bunch of new recipes I'm excited to try. I have new ideas for breakfast and will make better choices (more filling, more exciting options) for lunch. We've been doing well with dinner but I am cutting out snacking between meals and after dinner. Planning, planning, planning.

I'm getting back to running. I signed up for another 5K to keep up my motivation - this one's the first weekend in December. Not only that, but I have some killer hills to train on around my house - my last run left me TIRED and sore in ways I haven't been in awhile (in a good way)!  I'd like to run another 10K next year (maybe the Iron Horse again? that was a pretty run!).  I have my treadmill set up in the basement and can get my long runs in on the weekends with planning.

I will work on stress management. I'm not sure how yet, but I will find a better way to deal with stress. Maybe yoga. Maybe checking out by picking up a book to read. Maybe something else. I don't know yet, but I'm going to come up with some strategies to deal with stress (mostly from work).

I know how to do this. I've done it before. I can do it again. I'm committing to another Whole 30. Or 45. Or whatever it takes. Starting today. Starting now. Because I'm not going to admit defeat, just because I've taken a step back. I know how to take the next step forward, and I'm ready to do it!